Alright, all you moms out there...I need help. Alexia is getting more and more mobile, and while it's way cute, it's also making nap time so much harder. She can pull herself on anything now, and when I put her down for a nap, she cries for a minute, then figures out how to pull herself up to standing and holding onto the bars. I don't think she can fall asleep standing up, so I usually go in there, and put her back down. I don't pick her up, or sing another song, or anything. Just set her down.
The problem is, she keeps doing it over and over. No matter how tired she is. Just now, she did it four times before she just barely finally fell asleep! So, we try to go down for a nap at 10, and here it is, 50 minutes later, and she's just now sleeping. The first time she stood up, I went in soon. Then, I waited longer and longer each time until I went in. I don't want her to get used to the idea of me coming in, and that all she has to do to get my attention is stand up. But, I don't want to leave her screaming standing up in there, because she'll never go to sleep that way!
Need advice!!!
15 years ago
8 comments:
Did you used to go back in when she would cry? (before she could pull herself up). Can she get back down from things on her own other times when she pulls herself up?
I would say, don't go in. Gregory eventually get down and goes to sleep. Also in the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book he say they might fall asleep standing up the first few times. (Do you have that book?)
That's just my suggestion, do what feels right for you.
Hmmm ... each baby is so different and you are really the only one that knows what will work, but you might try pushing her nap time back half an hour or an hour, that way she is super tired when you lay her down. I tend to agree about not going in, although in some circumstances it may be necessary.
The 5-10-15 minute thing has worked for me in the past. (You know, let them cry 5 minutes, go in and comfort, then 10, and comfort, then 15, and comfort.)
The one thing that has really helped me has been realizing that I cannot make my children sleep. I can't. So I don't even try. As long as they still go down for a nap and go to bed on time, I don't care if they are awake. They can choose to sleep if they want. So I will sometimes give them a quite (no noise-making!) toy to keep them happy while they wind down. Maybe try that?
You'll figure it out. And it will pass in time. Good luck!
by 'quite' I meant 'quiet'
I knew I should have proof-read that! :)
Britt, before she could stand up, I wouldn't go into her room after putting her down, unless she'd been screaming for 20-30 minutes. And, sometimes she can get herself down from standing, so I guess I should just let her do that. If she can fall asleep standing anyway, then maybe I'll let her - and see if I can get some good pictures of it...
Right now, I'm listening to her in there (2nd nap time), and she's standing, blowing bubbles, no doubt thinking she's funny.
I guess, like you said Janae, if she doesn't want to sleep, that's her deal. It's still nap time. And if she doesn't nap in the next hour, then she'll just get to go to bed earlier, I guess.
So frustrating!!!
Well, now it's been 30 minutes, and she's SCREAMING her head off. My "letting her cry" isn't gonna work...
Yeah...I used to go in and lay Sam back down...and then decided he could fall over and get himself down. Some days, even today, he plays in his bed, holding the rails and jumping up and down, for up to an hour before he falls asleep. And on the days that we have something planned, that sucks, but on most days, when we're just go-with-the-flow, it's fine.
Sounds like she knows that if she holds out long enough, and screams her head off, you'll come running. Let her go for upwards of 45 minutes before going in. She'll eventually tire herself out, and if you do that a few days in a row, my guess is she'll realize you're not coming back.
Oh -- another thing we do -- if Sam has been crying/playing for more than about 25 minutes, one of us goes in to make sure he isn't hurt or hasn't pooped. If neither of those are the case, I pick him up, give him a quick hug, and tell him that it is time for sleep and goodnight. He screams for about 1 minute after I leave the room and then he knows that I'm really not coming back, and he usually goes to sleep pretty quickly. You could try that, too.
But yeah, also like Janae said, you can't make your kid sleep, no matter how much you really wish you could. That has helped me realize that, too. Some days, it's just no good to try for a nap, and then he goes to bed earlier b/c he's so grumpy. But that's helped me to realize that.
I've never had this particular problem. Here's what I'd try: practice standing up and letting go in her crib and other places when it's not nap time. This seems hard and I have no idea how well it would work in this particular situation. However, teaching them to be independent has worked for me in other areas. I also like the idea of a quiet toy or book she can't destroy.
Finally, realize she will learn to get down on her own much faster than, say, Bear's 7 months of potty training has been. It's a shorter phase. You can do it!
I agree w/Britt-marie....let her stay in there, w/o interruption from you. The more you go in, the more she'll resist sleeping hoping for a visit from you. She knows how to manipulate you. Then let her cry it out. Until she vomits (those kids are the hardest....and let them clean it up if she does that) she is safe and not being harmed by crying. She just wants to play and she's probably over tired which turns into a viscous cycle....it'll pass :) just don't give in!!
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